Addicting Infatuation
by Jayne Cobb09
Summary: Doesn't everyone know it starts with a game of Spin the Bottle? Slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own no one. There. I said it. **

**A.N: If you don't like this, blame my friend, **highsOffyou**, she forced me to post this. She called me a chicken, which only made me think of GOB's chicken dance so… yeah. I know the two main characters are OOC and an unlikely pair. Oh, and by the way? This is slash. The first chapter isn't too explicit, but I'll let you decide for yourself. **

**Chapter One**

None of them could really remember why they were celebrating. Nor could they recall why it was being held at Carter and Stuart's apartment. Maybe it could have been something was signed or it might have been somebody's birthday. It didn't matter. All that mattered at that moment was they were sitting in a circle ready to play Spin the Bottle. It didn't help much that most of them were quite drunk.

"I'll go first." Mike announced and lazily reached out and spun. Everyone clapped until it stopped and landed on Stacey. She smiled and the two carefully bent together for a quick kiss. It didn't last very long and the bottle was quickly passed onto the next person.

It finally got around to Carter, and it seemed it had taken forever, so he hoped it was worth it. While he was waiting, he had drunken a little more alcohol, as did everyone else, and the kisses had seemed to become longer and more intense. Carter considered just going back to the quick peck like it had started off as, but decided spilt second before spinning, that he would make it as long (maybe longer) and as intense (maybe more intense) no matter who it was. Even if it was Paul for goodness sake. But he really hoped it wasn't Paul.

"Spin! Spin! Spin! Spin!" They chanted and Carter laughed as he spun. He almost felt the need to close his eyes in fear of landing on Paul… or Stuart. Maybe that would be a problem as well. He wasn't expecting who it stopped at though.

"James?" Carter furrowed his eyebrows and stared at the man across from him.

"Me?" James put down his beer and jammed his thumb at his chest. Carter thought about his decision to do the kiss long and deliberated changing his mind but decided not to chicken out and just do it.

James saw how slowly and carefully Carter was moving in and figured, before it was too late, that Carter was going in the same direction kiss wise as everyone else had been going. He hadn't hoped to kiss that way, especially with another guy, but he was in the spirit (kind of) and he figured it wouldn't be much different than a woman (he hoped) so he moved a little closer.

They're lips met and for a split second, Carter felt as if nobody else but the two of them were there. James played along only so as not to be made fun of for chickening out and continued. They simultaneously parted their lips, but there was no tongue. James tilted his head to one side slightly and Carter breathed in faintly. Everyone was beginning to look around at each other uncomfortably trying to figure out if they would have to pull the two apart. Carter was pleasantly surprised at how… well… how good James was. He was more than good… he wasn't sure if he could pick one word.

Carter did have the thought _'what the hell am I doing!' _and the even more prominent thought _'am I really that desperate to get some?'_ as he continued. He realized that everyone else was most definitely staring and maybe even beginning to worry a little but he almost didn't care. Maybe he was that desperate. Carter decided to finish it off with grabbing the young man's bottom lip with his teeth and pulled as he backed away, letting go as he finally went to sit back in his previous spot.

James just managed to stare with large eyes. His cheeks were extremely red and he swallowed tentatively. Carter looked around at everyone's faces finally letting what he did actually sink in. Mike was finally first to speak.

"Party over everyone. We've got work tomorrow." He pulled himself up and everyone followed suit out of the apartment expect for James and Carter who stayed put.

"Um…" James managed to blurt out after the door slowly clicked closed. Stuart had followed everyone out, knowing they weren't indeed going home, but going to the bar around the block to give them a moment alone. Stuart had wanted to stay to see what might have happened, but decided he'd just ask later.

"Yeah. I'm sor…" Carter began to apologize as he stood and tried to make himself busy by cleaning up so James couldn't see how nervous he was.

"Don't… apologize." James stood and picked up the bottle, staring at it a moment before tossing it in the trash.

"Why not?"

"Just… don't." James shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. Carter finished cleaning as much as he could lay his fingers on at that moment and leaned against the counter.

"So…" Carter tried to say something, hoping to clear the suicidal silence. Instead, much to his surprise, he saw James move and then felt lips upon his again. James put his hands on either side of Carter, trapping him. Carter was shocked and unsure of what to do for what felt like a minute but was most likely less. James stopped and stared confusedly as if he had no idea what he just did.

"I… don't know what I'm doing." James stated, clarifying his look.

"Neither do I." Carter smiled back, almost invitingly. He moved in first this time and placed his hands the only place they could reach - James' hips. James jumped a little. "Is that okay?" Carter squinted his eyes slightly and went to take his hands off, but James pushed them back on and put his hands where they were before.

"No… I'm alright. It's okay."

"So before we do anything, I just want to clarify something here." Carter paused. " Both of us agree I'm gay."

"Yeah." James nodded.

"And both of us agree that up until recently, meaning now, you have been most certainly straight."

"Yeah." James repeated himself slower than before.

"And neither of us have an idea what we're doing but apparently we're doing it anyway."

"I guess so."

"Good enough for me." Carter shrugged. _That settles it, I am that desperate,_ Carter thought.

They both went in at the same time and practically smashed into each other with impatience. They started the same way they had the first time - giving each other time to part their lips. James cocked his head again and that indescribable kiss, as Carter could only come to call it later, was there once more. Carter couldn't help but wonder why women seemed repelled by this man. The kiss was almost like he had amazing experience. Carter got so lost in thought, he didn't expect the tongue that ran across his bottom lip. He grasped tighter on James' hips and James only tensed a moment before relaxing again. Carter couldn't remember the last time either of them took a breath and he didn't really care as the tongue came back again. Even while all of this was going on, he couldn't help but worry that someone would walk in (like Stuart or one of the women forgetting their purse) and see them.

He gave up thinking when the younger man's tongue took a chance at finding Carter's mouth again. Carter didn't want to be outdone so he let his tongue push the other one out of the way and take over. James tensed for a third time and Carter pulled away.

"Are you really alright with this?" he finally asked, staring the man in the eyes.

"Why?" James questioned without giving a straightforward answer.

"You keep tensing up."

"Oh." James looked disappointed and brought his hands down to his sides, letting his head drop slightly to face the floor. Carter continued to leave his hands on James' hips though and stared curiously.

"You don't have to stop…" Carter heard himself saying and mentally slapped himself. _You promised yourself you'd try and wait for Mr. Right and here you are making out with a straight man no less! And to top that all off, you basically invited him to continue. But then again, if the guy is experimenting or something, it's better to experiment with someone he knows than a stranger… _Carter sighed.

"I don't?" James looked up and creased is eyebrows.

"You're not… bad." Carter shrugged it off like he told guys that everyday.

"Really?" James looked to brighten up a little, but he tried to hide it.

"aw, who am I kidding! You're really good!" Carter laughed and James smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, really." Carter nodded and looked around a moment. "Do you want to move somewhere more comfortable?"

"Actually, I was thinking maybe we could stay where we are and see what happens." James suggested.

"Can't disagree with that." Carter couldn't control anything he was doing - his speech… his hands… his tongue apparently.

Instead of putting his hands back on the counter, James placed his hands where Carter's shoulder blades were and moved in closer. Before they kissed again, Carter asked one last question.

"Are you sure you haven't done this before?"

"I'm pretty sure, yeah." James smiled amused unsure of what brought on the question. Carter smiled back and stopped talking. James leaned in again and their lips barely touched. Carter wasn't sure whether it was the alcohol or tension that was making his head hurt, but nothing seemed too important to break away. They were just about to kiss again when the door slammed open and there was a loud gasp.

The two men pulled apart and turned to face a stunned Nikki. She looked like she was waiting for an explanation and Carter went to open his mouth, but Nikki put her hand up and shook her head.

"Say nothing. I'm just here to get my purse." She snatched it from next to the open door. "I saw nothing. I'll them you guys were cleaning up." Nikki turned to walk out but came back in. "We're talking tomorrow morning whether you like it or not." She pointed as she closed the door.

"Maybe we should lock the door." Carter moved to the door and locked it without waiting for an answer.

"Do you think she'll tell?" James asked quietly when Carter walked back.

"Nah. She'll keep quiet." Carter brushed off the worry from both of them. "Now…" Carter gripped James' hips and pulled him in close. James took a sharp intake of breath. "Shall we continue?"

"Sure." He wasn't sure where to put his hands this time. He settled on placing them in the middle of Carter's back. They connected again and immediately let their tongues explore this time, instead of waiting. James dug his fingers into Carter's shirt and something about that mixed in with the kiss caused Carter to jerk forward. James took another sharp intake of breath at that movement. He couldn't figure out why, if he was experimenting the way he was with who he was experimenting with, this felt so right. And why now? Why did he wait until now to try this? If the bottle hadn't landed on him when Carter spun, would he still be here? _At least,_ he thought, _this is another thing I can cross off my 'things to try' list. _

Carter finally let his hands move down to James' lower back, just near where his shirt met his pants. He allowed his hands, again, to move to James' buckle and started to undo it. James pulled away and looked down.

"What're you doing?"

"What does it look like?" Carter never took his eyes away as James looked back up.

"Okay, then."

"You're okay?" Carter checked before resuming.

"Yeah… I just wasn't expecting…"

"Do you want to stop?"

"No… no… I'm-I'm fine."

"Okay?"

"Okay." James nodded and leaned in again and Carter finished the belt and moved onto his button and zipper. After finally pulling them down he felt silk boxers brush against his hands.

"Silk huh?"

"Is that a problem?"

"No. Just… making an observation." Carter offered. James took a big chance and drifted his hands down to Carter's waist. James looked up.

"Can I…?"

"Do you want to?"

"I don't know."

"Well then."

"Fine." James ended up placing his hands where the buttons on Carter's shirt met the button holes. With strength Carter hadn't known James possessed, James rip the shirt off to reveal Carter's undershirt.

"Wow." Was all Carter could spit out. "You're absolutely positive you've never done this before?" Carter raised an eyebrow.

"Absolutely."

"Could've fooled me." Carter pulled James' head in and let his fingers tangle in his curly crop of hair. Having no real shirt to grip now, James slipped his hands in the back pockets of Carter's pants.

Carter finally had enough of standing where they were and began to walk forward. James followed his footsteps awkwardly, unwilling to let go. They continued kissing as Carter fumbled for the handle to a closed door. The door swung forcefully open and the two stumbled into the room. Neither noticed it happened to be Stuart's bedroom they walked into and neither really cared as Carter slammed the door behind them.

They crumpled down on the bed, James on the bottom and Carter on top. They continued to intensely kiss. And Carter opened his eyes and finally recognized that the bed sheets did not belong to himself, but Stuart. He thought that maybe this was a bad idea, but the look on Stuart's face if he found out would've been priceless, so he said nothing.

The moved as one - it seemed - until they were fully on the bed, the sheets already disturbed by their motions. Carter never imagined that he would end the day with this, but he could think of worse things. Before he had time to think about anything else, he felt James' hands disappear from Carter's hips.

Carter wondered where they went, until he heard the familiar sound of his belt coming apart. He still had a hard time believing that James had never done something like this before. James didn't take off the pants and instead slipped his hands half inside.

_Oh, yeah, _were the only two words that skittered through his mind. He quickly unbuttoned James' shirt and expected an undershirt he would have to make his way through, but there was nothing except flesh. Carter slipped his hands inside the open shirt and let them travel to his back, pulling him closer.

Carter, the more seemingly experienced of the two, began to kiss the younger man's neck, finally reaching his collarbone with soft kisses. James finally managed to remove Carter's pants, and placed his hand on his lower back, pulling him closer, if it was possible.

"Dear God…" James murmured.

"You're alright?" Carter inquired, breathless, pausing only a moment to separate.

"Yes, yes…" James gasped and pulled Carter's groin to meet his again. "Quite alright."

(----)

About an hour or so later, Stuart used his spare key to throw the door open. He was so drunk he didn't hear the moans emitting from a bedroom and sleepily collapsed on the couch, falling fast asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Stuart woke up before James or Carter and went to work in the same clothes from the night before, so he never ventured into his own bedroom, never seeing two very naked men curled up into each other in his bed. Carter strutted into the office an hour later, James right behind, the two pretending to look like they met in front of the building and decided to walk in together.

Stuart stood from his desk to greet his friend with a naughty looking smile.

"Well, well. Looks like someone got lucky last night!" Stuart slapped Carter on the back. Nikki looked up from her desk with raised eyebrows. Mike walked out of his office when he heard Stuart.

"Who got lucky?" he questioned loudly.

"Carter!" Stuart jumped in before Carter could say anything else. James hung his head over what he was writing to try and hide his flushed cheeks.

"Really? Anyone we know?" Mike laughed and everyone joined in. Carter pretended to laugh along and James said nothing. Nikki stood cautiously.

"Can I borrow your office a moment, Mike? I need to discuss something with Carter and James."

"Do you need me there?" Mike went for the door.

"No. We're fine." Nikki shook her head and James stood from his desk and followed, Carter close behind. Nikki called out a warning to anyone listening. "If anyone is caught listening through the door…" she ominously trailed off and shut the door. Once they were all inside, Nikki leaning against the desk and Carter and James standing a few feet apart. "So… anything to say?"

"No." Carter said quickly and James continued to say nothing. Nikki narrowed her eyes and looked from either man.

"James? Can I talk to Carter alone a minute?" she asked and James immediately complied and walked out. "So Carter… what hap…"

"We had sex." Carter blurted out and sat heavily on the couch. Nikki swallowed and sucked on her teeth before sitting down next to him.

"Was that supposed to make me laugh so we could break the ice here?" she prayed.

"I'm afraid not." Carter sighed just as heavily as he sat down.

"You and James… did it?" she pointed to Carter and then out the door.

"Yeah."

"Wow… okay. So what's the problem?"

"I don't know. You're the one who wanted to talk."

"I know… I know." Nikki stared at her lap before looking up again. "So… what do you want to do?"

"What do I want to do or what should I do?" Carter laughed before clearing his throat.

"How about both?"

"I should talk to him and tell him it was just being drunk and all of that…" he trailed off and blinked. Nikki smiled slightly.

"and what do you want to do?"

"I want… I want to do it again." He admitted.

(----)

Outside the office, James jumped back slightly at what he heard.

"You alright?" Stacey looked up.

"Yeah, yeah. I got a shock is all."

"Static, huh?" Stacey shook her head and went back to what she was doing. A minute later, Nikki walked out of Mike's office and looked at James, nodding into the room. He understood and slowly walked in, closing the door behind him. Mike approached Nikki.

"Do I get my office back yet?"

"Nope."

"Oh… okay then." Mike put his hands in his pockets and looked to the closed door before he walked away.

(----)

"James…" Carter began, but James interrupted by putting up his hand.

"I heard… through the door." He sighed and sat on the couch self-consciously. He really did look uncomfortable and a little scared even. Carter felt bad and sat down next to James. "What… happened?" he finally uttered.

"Well, we had…"

"I know that happened. I meant what… exactly are we going to do?"

"We have two options. We could pretend this never happened which could be awkward in the office or… we could try to continue this which could still be awkward in the office, but maybe less so if it goes well." Carter waited for an answer and was starting to grow impatient until he placed his hand under the other man's chin and brought his face up to eye level. The first thing he saw were silent tears falling. "What's the matter?"

"I just… when we were falling asleep last night… I was thinking and I realized how much I… I… liked it. I'm a little worried to keep going but… I don't want to stop. I'm just… really confused." James let out a shuddered sigh as he tried to hold in tears.

"I don't know what to say."

"Here. I have an idea. Kiss me."

"What?"

"Kiss me. If we both react in the same way as last night then we can try to keep going. If neither, or one, us don't react at all then… well… you know. We'd know it was just the large consumption of alcohol and we'll never speak of this again." James faced Carter. Carter couldn't think of a better idea so he agreed. The moved closer in and leaned closer. They let their lips brush slightly before going in for the real thing. Their lips parted almost on impulse and connected with the static Stacey had mentioned earlier. It was almost as if they refused to part and when they did, they stared at each other.

"I guess that's settled then." Carter threw his hands in the air. "Agreed?"

"Yeah. Want to go for drinks later?"

"Fine."

(----)

Later that afternoon, Carter was unsuccessfully trying to get work done. The only thing that continued to go through his mind was the night before. It just rolled over and over like a stuck record and it was driving him nuts. If he felt this way now, how would he feel a few days from now? His thoughts were interrupted by Stuart walking up to him, smiling.

"Did you have Trix for breakfast this morning?"

"Why?" Carter turned to face Stuart, laying the papers he was copying alone.

"Because it's the fruity part of a complete breakfast of course!" he laughed. Carter glared.

"You're running out of ideas, aren't you?" he monotonously stated and picked up the stack of papers and walked out. Stuart followed right behind.

"Am not. I'm saving the best ones for later."

"Sure you are." Carter rolled his eyes.

"But really, you do look like you got lucky last night? Did you go somewhere else? We were waiting for you to join us and you never showed up." Stuart paused behind his desk, Carter on the other side. "Come to think of it, neither did James…" Stuart's eyes widened. "You guys didn't…?"

"Ew, no!" Carter lied. "After what happened he just decided to go home. And yes, I did go to the wrong bar. But apparently it wasn't without disappointment." He placed the last stack of papers into a wire bin and Stuart raised his hands in surrender and sat down. "Anyway. I'm going to see this guy again."

"Really? That's a first."

"It is not!" Carter argued and turned when he saw James walk into the offices. He was glad James hadn't heard him say what he did. Especially the "ew" part. Because it was far from "ew".

"Hey, James!" Stuart called to the younger man's attention and Carter cursed under his breath. James walked over and stood next Carter, his arms crossed.

"What?" he asked a little more harshly than he had meant.

"Didja hear? Carter got lucky last night!" he laughed. James paused a moment and swallowed, uncrossing his arms.

"Is… is that so? What did he say about it huh?" James looked to Carter instead of at Stuart. For a moment, he feared Carter had been telling everyone. He relaxed slightly at Stuart answer.

"Just that it was without disappointment of any kind and that he's planning on seeing this guy again." Stuart twirled his pen around and the three were silent. Carter finally spoke.

"James. I need you to help me with fixing some paperwork." He tilted his head in the direction of an empty room. James sighed, but trailed behind. Stuart was oblivious and paid no attention to what room they walked into.

(----)

Carter closed the door carefully and took his time staring at James before speaking.

"You thought I told him, didn't you?"

"That thought did cross my mind, yes." James kicked at the floor.

"I'm not going to tell! We both agreed we were going to keep this silent and that's what I'm going to do."

"I'm sorry." James continued to kick at the floor, his head down.

"Look." Carter moved closer. "We'll be leaving soon. We'll go out, have a couple drinks… just relax."

"Okay." James smiled. Carter turned to open the door, but James grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. Without giving Carter a chance to speak, he planted a soft, quick kiss on his lips.

"What was that for?"

"I'm not sure. Carter… I think I need help." James laughed and Carter joined in. It was kind of cramped in there and warm. Oh so VERY warm. Carter figured he was the one who needed help. It wasn't often (try, let's say, NEVER) that he had a terrible addicting infatuation with a presumably straight man. He couldn't see James being gay. He liked supermodels for goodness sake! So all that left was the possibility he was bi and didn't know it up until now. But Carter knew how difficult it was to find a guy around town with his busy schedule so he figured he didn't really care.

(----)

Nikki approached Mike and Stacey five or so minutes after James and Carter had walked into the empty room.

"Have either of you seen James or Carter?"

"No."

"Nope. Haven't seen them. They've been acting a little weird all day, you think?" Stacey put her pencil down and looked up at her two co-workers.

"I guess so, yeah." Nikki did her best job at pretending she had no idea what was going on. She turned and saw Carter emerge from a small office and look cautiously around, James peeked out afterwards. Nikki got the attention of Mike and Stacey away from Carter's direction. After she was sure the coast was clear she moved toward James who was standing near his desk.

"Hey Nikki, what's up?" James asked nonchalantly.

"What were you two doing in there?" she raised her eyebrows and smiled.

"Just talking."

"Sure you were." Nikki crossed her arms and smiled amusedly. She leaned in and whispered in James' ear. "Barn door's open, tiger." She patted his arm and walked away. James looked around before quickly pulling up his zipper and sitting down.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"Hey Carter, we're going out for drinks in a minute or two, wanna come?" Mike strutted up to the tall black man.

"Uh… what? Drinks?" Carter didn't mean to sound so disappointed, but he was. He just had planned to sound enthusiastic and mope about it later, but it didn't work.

"I mean, you don't have to come. It was just a suggestion." Mike backed up a little.

"No, it's just… nevermind. I don't think so, thanks." Carter politely smiled and watched as Mike walked away before turning to find James. Once he found him, he pulled him off to the side in the hallway.

"What's going on?" James inquired.

"How about we go over to… your place instead."

"Why?"

"Well, I found out everyone's going for drinks and I don't want to run the risk of running into them and well, Stuart shares the apartment so he's bound to come home at some point…" Carter heard himself rambling and trailed off. James looked confused a moment.

"Well… I… I thought we were just going for drinks and relax. And talk… like that, you know?" James looked worried.

"Don't worry. I promise, nothing is going to happen."

(----)

James panted heavily as he laid on his bed. His arms were stretched out as far as he could go. The bed sheets were tangled around him and when he turned his head, Carter seemed to be in the same predicament, except he was positioned on his side, head in hand, and watching the younger man carefully.

Clothes were scattered every which way on the floor and a bottle of half empty wine and two empty, previously used glasses sat on the dresser.

"Well… this is… well…" James sighed and continued to stare at the ceiling unable to quite express what he wanted to say.

"I hope it was okay."

"Yeah, yeah. I just didn't expect this would happen… again."

"Well, neither did I." Carter shifted his position slightly. James moved his head to stare at Carter and laughed.

"I bet you did."

"I did?" Carter pretended to sound surprised and a bit angry at being "accused" of such blasphemy!

"Sure you did. You brought me to my own apartment and fed me pizza and wine." James sighed. "I guess I'm just kind of confused. I mean, I thought I liked women. I thought I liked women a lot and now here I am. I've had sex with a guy." He paused. "Twice."

Carter moved in to kiss him again when there was a loud knock on the door. Both of them wondered who would be knocking on James' door at almost midnight.

"Hey! James!" It was Stacey. "You left your speech papers at the office! I thought you might need them! Hello?"

In the moment of panic, neither of them suspected that she was only there to see where James went to in such a rush after work. Carter went to move but James put his hand on his shoulder and the other over his mouth.

"I'm not home." He whispered and Carter nodded. The two laid down and waited.

"James? Are ya home?" Stacey sighed and paused a moment to knock once more. "Well, I would try to come in, but since your 'not home' I'll go then." Her footsteps echoed down the dank hallway's of the building. James and Carter breathed at last.

"Now what?" Carter leaned back on the pillow again.

"We could stay here… or we could go out for awhile."

"Go where?"

"Dunno. I'm kind of tired anyway." James reached over and turned the light down to a very dim glow without asking if it was alright if he did so. It turned out, it was fine with Carter. He was pretty tired himself. He wiggled around a bit to get comfortable. He stretched one arm out and unexpectedly felt a head lay down on it. "Carter?"

"Yeah?"

"There's a part of me who thinks this is very wrong."

"What about the other part?"

"The other part is very happy."

"Hm."

(----)

That morning, Carter woke up early. He forgot for a spilt second where he was until he looked to his left and remembered. Careful not to wake his partner, he slid out of bed and groggily searched for his boxers. Grabbing whatever pair he first laid his hands on, he pulled them on (as well as an undershirt) and walked into the kitchen for a drink of water.

After chugging it down, he sat on the couch and sighed deeply. After all that happened last night, there was only one conversation that still twisted around in his mind.

"_There's a part of me who thinks this is very wrong."_

"_What about the other part?"_

"_The other part is very happy." _

"What the hell am I going to do?" he asked himself. He really meant it, too. He didn't know what he was going to do about any of this. He attempted to keep telling himself that James was straight… James was straight… but it didn't work and it pissed him off to no end. That convincing didn't turn him off, it turned him on. Turned him on so bad. Who knew sleeping with a supposedly assumed straight man would turn him on more then sleeping with another homosexual?

He looked at the clock. It was almost 5am. He wondered what he was going to do for breakfast if he had to be in work by 7am. Before he had time to think some more, he heard James clear his throat behind him. Carter turned his head and stood slowly.

"Thought you left." James said calmly, the only clothing covering him a pair of boxers.

"Really? Why?" Carter looked confused and took a few steps forward. James shrugged one shoulder.

"Dunno. It's happened so often…"

"People've left while you were asleep?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not going to do that. Not unless you piss me off. Now, what do you usually do about breakfast?" Carter changed the subject. James smiled and walked to his tiny counter. He opened a drawer and looked around. Closing it he turned to the fridge. Closing that, he sighed.

"I'm not hungry."

"Yeah…" Carter finally admitted. "Neither am I." he rubbed his hands together. James opened his freezer.

"I've got ice cream." He suggested.

"That'll do."

(----)

It was 8 o'clock when Carter rushed into work. James had left a half hour earlier, so either way, both of them were late. They had done rock, paper, scissors to figure out who would be later. Carter lost.

"You're late." The Mayor walked up to Carter, his back straightened.

"I'm so sorry, sir. I was eating breakfast and lost track of time." He explained and he wasn't lying. He had been eating breakfast and most definitely lost track of time. Carter put down his suitcase and joined everyone else in Mike's office to catch the tail end of the meeting.

After it was over, Nikki and Carter remained behind. They sat down on the couch once more.

"So, you went for drinks and talked this over right?" she made an effort at trying to clarify. Carter just looked uncomfortable and tried to smile. "Right?"

"Um… no."

"So you didn't talk at all?"

"Um… no." Carter said again slowly, knowing Nikki must have caught on by now. She had, and she sighed and closed her eyes.

"You did it again, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"What're you going to do about this? We all know James is straight, correct?" Nikki crossed her arms.

"That's the problem! As far as I've known this guy, he's been straight. Incredibly straight. And now here I am, a straightforward homosexual and we're FUCKING!" he yelled before clamping his hand over his mouth and clearing his throat once he brought his hand down. "I just… I can't seem to grasp what's happening. I'm afraid this could be a mistake, for both of us…"he trailed off. Nikki stared incredulously, her arms still crossed at her chest.

"But…" she prompted.

"But…" he sighed and suddenly, his demeanor changed. He faced Nikki and threw his hands wildly around and he was smiling. "… it's SO good! I mean, it's so hard for guys like me to find someone with my schedule…" he put his hands down and frowned. "… and then I find him and he's straight. And I can't help but have a cloud of worry hanging above my head. It's looming and telling me that this all could be some big experiment for him… but if it was it would have been that one time and end it, right?"

"Well… you've got a problem here, don'tcha?" Nikki slapped his thigh and rose. "Here's three words you ought to consider…"

"What?"

"Talk. To. Him." She said each word as if it was a new sentence. She shook her head amusedly and walked out the office. Carter eventually followed and went to his office.

Meanwhile, Stuart was pestering James while he tried to write. Stuart was smiling like the cat who ate the canary.

"So… Stacey tells me she went by your apartment last night and you weren't there."

"And…?"

"Nothin'." Stuart stared off into the distance before turning back. "Why does your breath smell like peppermint?"

"You can smell it?" James looked up.

"All the way from here."

"huh." They were silent yet again and James took a drink of his coffee.

"I wonder what this guy looks like that Carter is doing." Stuart shoved his hands into his pockets and stared at the ceiling. James spit out his coffee in surprise. Stuart jumped back. "What the hell was that for!"

"It's… it's too hot." James stood and pulled some tissues from a nearby box and began to clean up as Carter walked back into the room. James cringed when he heard what Stuart began to say, not realizing Carter was present.

"Anyway, you have to wonder what kind of guy would do a man like Carter. Really. I mean, how desperate would that guy have to be for sex?" Stuart didn't wait for an answer. "I mean… that guy must have been seriously lacking in the sex department for a few months and saw Carter and was like 'hey! He looks good! I'll try him!'. I wouldn't even be surprised if the guy was straight!" Stuart cracked up.

"Is that what you think?" Carter asked. Stuart turned slowly around and swallowed.

"I guess so." He shrugged. Stuart missed the glare that Carter shot into James' direction before responding.

"I'm starting to think that too." He sighed. James' face dropped immensely and he look hurt before running away.

"That's a shame." Stuart remarked, not paying any heed to James' quick exit. Carter looked startled and followed Stuart back to his desk.

"Why? Why's that a shame?"

"What? Oh…" Stuart looked up from what he was doing, put down his pen and laced his fingers together. "Well, these past two days… I haven't seen you this happy in awhile. I mean, you're strutting down the halls, smiling, your shoulders are relaxed."

"I… I… what?" Carter let it sink in before running off.

"What is it with these guys today?" Stuart shook his head before turning back to his paperwork.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Carter looked everywhere in the building for James but couldn't find him anywhere. He finally made his way back to the main offices. Everyone was busy doing something or other but he cleared his throat anyway. If he just asked if anyone had seen him, he didn't have to say a why, right?

"Everyone!" he called to their attention. They all paused and looked up. "Has anyone seem James?" Everyone looked to each other shrugging their shoulders. "Anyone? Anyone at all? No? Okay then." He lowered his hands and sighed frustratingly. He walked over the coat rack and snatched his coat off if it, throwing it on moodily.

"Hey, Carter! Where're you going?" Mike called out and attempted to follow Carter's quick motions.

"It's an emergency. I have to go." Carter went to walk down the hall, but Mike pulled him back. By now, Stacey, Nikki, and Stuart were all looking up again.

"You weren't going to mention it. Just walk out, huh?"

"That was the plan." Carter tried to leave again, but Mike pulled him back again by the elbow.

"What kind of emergency?" he questioned. Carter sighed, frustrated again, and looked around, letting his eyes linger a moment on Nikki.

"Has anyone noticed James is missing?" He acknowledged the empty desk with a gesture of his hand. Nobody said anything. "He's not in the building. I'm going out to look for him."

"He'll come back. He probably went to get food or something." Mike suggested.

"Please, Mike. Let me go look." Carter pleaded and Nikki gripped her paper, afraid the secret was blown. Mike noticed something different in Carter's eyes. Desperation maybe? But he wasn't sure… he certainly knew it was something. Whatever it was, he'd sort it out later.

"Go! But you'll have to make up the time!" Mike called to Carter who was already to the end of the hallway.

"Whatever!" Carter blew him off. Nikki sighed in relief.

(----)

Carter went to his and Stuart's apartment first, for some reason, hoping maybe James would be there waiting to talk. He turned the knob and didn't even notice that Stuart had forgotten to lock the door again. He closed his eyes once he stepped inside. He took a deep breath and looked. Completely empty.

"What was I really expecting?" he tried to laugh, but nothing came out. Sighing, he closed and locked the door, heading back outside.

While he sat in the taxi headed to James' apartment, he gave himself a chance to think. Why did he care so much? Any other person he would have blown off and agreed with Mike. _"He'll come back." _Mike had said. Carter would have usually agreed and went back to work. Usually. So why was he in a taxi, instead of work, looking for the man he just dissed?

He had wanted this to maybe work, but it felt against his morals. If this didn't work out, this won't be some "just once when I was drunk" or an "I got really lonely at camp on evening" story to tell the friends. If it did, what would he tell the other homosexuals he would meet? "This is my boyfriend. He's straight." James was straight! He was, god dammit, so what the hell was going on! He felt like such an idiot for falling in love with a stra-… wait a minute… did he just say "falling in love"! Is that what he had said? Good god, maybe he did need help. Maybe he was that desperate. Maybe, just maybe he should be listening to his god damn instincts for once.

"Hey buddy! Here's your stop." The taxi driver pointed out as he slowed down.

"No kidding. I wondered why we were pulling over." Carter snapped as he stumbled out of the cab. He gave the driver the money and impatiently waited for the change.

"Geez, what's the rush?" the driver asked when he noticed Carter tapping his foot.

"You really want to know? I might have sabotaged the only relationship that seems to be working for me this year so now I'm going to attempt to fix it, though I highly doubt I can!" he explained harshly and held his hand out. The driver placed the money carefully in Carter's palm.

"Well, good luck anyway." He said through the window before rolling it up and driving away.

Carter shook his head and pulled the door open to the building. He turned to the woman sitting at the desk to his right.

"Excuse me?" Carter got her attention.

"Yes? How may I help you?" she smiled sweetly and put down her pen.

"There's no time for pleasantries!" Carter threw his hands in the air. The desk clerk look slightly taken aback and raised her eyebrows.

"Alright…"

"Do you know where James Hobart is?" Carter couldn't believe he asked that. This building was huge, how could she know who everyone was?

"Oh… he rushed in. Said a quick hello and mumbled something about going up to the roof…"

"Thank you!" Carter went to the elevator before coming back. "How do I get there?" he asked. The desk clerk smiled gently. She was used to getting people like this. So wrapped up in what they need that they ask the stupidest questions.

"You take the elevator all the way up. You'll see a pair of stairs. Go up them, open the door and there you are."

"Thanks… thanks." Carter ran off.

Following the woman's directions, he finally made it to the door. It was being held open by a brick and when Carter slipped through, he made sure not to disturb it. He knew what happens when the door closes. James was standing by the edge looking over the buildings.

"You're not planning to jump are you?" Carter called out and slapped himself in the forehead. Encourage him, why don't you! James didn't look startled, like he had been waiting for Carter.

"Do I look suicidal?" James tuned to face Carter at last.

"A little." Carter shrugged and rubbed his hands together. He had forgotten his gloves.

"I do?" James creased his brow. Carter walked over until he was standing right next to the younger man.

"Well, it isn't that bad." Carter smiled, but James didn't smile back. "Look," he finally spoke again. "I'm sorry about what I said, but I really have no idea what's going on. Everything I thought about… all that I thought was making sense… well.. doesn't anymore."

"I know. I'm just as confused." James agreed, using less words than Carter had. They continued to stand and stare out at the tops of the buildings.

"Well," Carter pulled up his sleeve and checked his watch, hardly believing how easily he was able to apologize. He was definitely expecting some kind of an argument. "If we left now, the work day would be over. Want to get some coffee or something?"

"Nah." James turned his head towards Carter. "I could use a beer though."

(----)

A half hour later, the rest of the office group (excluding Paul who, well, nobody knew where he was) walked into the bar. They looked for a free table, quickly found one, sat and ordered they're drinks. None of them had noticed Carter and James sitting close in a booth right across from their table.

A few minutes later, Nikki turned her head when she thought she heard someone calling her name. It turned out it was nothing, but she saw what she hoped nobody else had. Her eyes widened and she fought the urge to yell at them to run and hide. She turned to face the group again.

"What's with that face? You look like you just saw something majorly scary!" Mike laughed and the rest joined in.

"It was much worse." Nikki mumbled.

"What?"

"Noth-nothing. So, Mayor… what's on the schedule for tomorrow?" Nikki attempted to change the subject. The Mayor looked up and shrugged.

"Absolutely no idea."

"Come on," Stuart prodded. "You've gotta have some idea!"

"Well, I suppose we could…" the Mayor began and Nikki tuned him out to face the back of the bar again. If she thought the idea of them just being seen together… they were in the process of picking up their coats. Now they would be seen leaving together. They stood and paid. Nikki tried to warn them with quick gestures, but it was too late.

"Hey! Carter… and James." Stacey raised an eyebrow. The two men stopped dead in their tracks and swallowed. They turned towards the table and Carter erased the look of panic and doomsday off his face and replaced it with a big, fake smile.

"Guys! Hey!" he threw his arms out, James gave the appearance of hiding behind Carter.

"What were you doin' here?" Mike questioned.

"I… um… James was… on the roof of his building… he was going to throw himself off if I didn't come in time!" was all Carter could think of. James made a "WTF!" face and sighed, having no choice but to play along.

"Yeah… if Carter hadn't found me I might've been… well, dead." James managed to shrug. "I was just there. I don't even remember how I got there and I thought. I thought, maybe if this was all over, all of what's been going on, everything would be easier. For both of us." He sighed. Carter took his turn in having his eyes widen slightly. He would've thought that the little speech was just an extraordinary display of James' writing skills, but maybe…

"Both of who?" Stuart asked.

"Both of what?" James pretended to have no idea what he just said.

"You said it'd be easier for 'both of us'."

"I did?"

"Yeah."

'I'm just… just really confused." James sighed deeply. Carter stepped in.

"I was going to take him back down to his apartment, but he insisted we have a drink. I'm going to take him back and… keep an eye on him." Carter cleared his throat and diverted his glance to Nikki. She caught on.

"We better let them go." She stood and put her arm over James' shoulder. "I'll walk you guys out." The three walked away, towards the door.

"Wow." Stacey finally spoke, taking a sip of her drink. "You think one person is a certain way and then, Bam! I didn't suspect for a moment James would think about that."

"Who did you think would do it?" Mike pried.

"Well, the Mayor or Stuart, really."

"Hey!" the two men said in unison.

(----)

Once outside, Nikki sighed.

"You two are very lucky James is a speech writer and Carter is a good liar. Otherwise, that could've been a big problem."

"This is a big problem!" Carter blurted out. "They now probably think James could try and commit hari-kari any minute! Now they'll never give us a moment alone!" he stomped his foot. Nikki rubbed her temples.

"I didn't tell you to make up that story!" she said calmly. "That was all you, Carter. Now, just take James wherever you're going and I'll try to calm them down, alright?"

Carter went to hail a taxi and James turned to face Nikki before she headed back into the bar.

"Hey, Nikki?"

"Yeah?" she turned back around.

"Thanks a lot… for keeping this secret and stuff." James shrugged.

"Hey," she smiled back, opening the door. "What're friends for?"

(----)

Once inside the quiet of James' apartment, Carter was given the opportunity to seriously interrogate him. James collapsed on his couch, not even bothering to remove his shoes or coat. Carter threw his coat off onto the floor and sat down next to him.

"What you said… about when you were on the roof, did you…?"

"Really consider jumping? Only for a little bit." James bit his lip. "I just didn't think after three days, my life would be so jumbled and upside down that I didn't even know where I was walking or what I was thinking." He finally explained. "The first time we did it, I was just… experimenting, you could say. I've never done that with another guy before and there was my first opportunity. If, when you spun the bottle, it hadn't landed on me… do you think we'd be here now?"

"Probably not." Carter was too stunned to say anything else. James continued.

"But then… I can't exactly explain what or why. It just wasn't…"

"…some little science experiment anymore." Carter finished the sentence.

"Yeah… wait, what?" James looked up from staring at his lap.

"Can you believe the first time I realized I might be gay I was actually experimenting too? The guy and I had sex and I realized how much more natural it felt for me than doing it with a woman."

"But here's my problem. I have never looked at another male that way! I always thought women were attractive. I loved having sex with them. I loved looking at them… and now here I am." James paused and looked Carter in the eyes. "What're we going to do?"

Carter stared back, but not for long. He knew what he should do. He knew the right thing to do the first time James kissed him after the bottle spun and people left. He just never wanted to say it, because he was happy. Stuart was right. When did he ever expect to hear himself say that? He was happier than he had been in a long while, but this just wasn't right. It couldn't be love, could it? It had to just be infatuation. _Just keep telling yourself that Carter Heywood. Just keep telling yourself that. _

"We… have to stop seeing each other." Carter finally said.

"What?" James whispered. "We… we work together. That's going to be kind of hard…"

"No, James. I mean… you know what I mean."

"Yeah. I know." He looked down and finally looked up again. "Why?"

"I think you know the answer to that too." Carter stood and picked up his coat from the floor. He slipped it on and walked to the door, laying his hand on the knob. "Goodbye, James. I'll see you tomorrow."

James watched Carter leave and sat for a minute or two doing absolutely nothing. He squinted and blinked his eyes a few times.

"Ah, shit." He cursed and collapsed into a pillow and began to sob.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

It was two weeks later, and the office seemed to be running incredibly smooth. The only one missing was Nikki after many pleading the week before for some time off. Mike, apparently, couldn't live without an assistant and seemed to be barely functioning under the work load.

It was worse for both Carter and James, if it was possible. With Nikki gone, the only one who knew what really happened, they had nobody to confide in with their worries about what happened recently. And since Carter decided it would be best to leave any contact, physical or verbal, between James to a minimum, Carter felt very alone.

James seemed to move sluggishly, his handwriting, once neat and readable, would constantly leave the Mayor trying to guess what a word was in the middle of a press conference. The speeches themselves weren't any better either. They were still good, but not up to standard. Mike was so wrapped up in what his problems were, he didn't take the time to notice. But when he finally took the chance, he really noticed. He just made the mistake of asking about it while everyone else was in the room.

"So, James. Your… uh… speeches are getting a little rough there. Handwriting's getting a little illegible, too. Everything alright?" Mike solicited. Everyone turned their heads to face James. James avoided Carter's eyes by staring at his hands.

"I'm sorry. I just… I'm not having a very good week. I'll try harder."

"Good. Let me know how that goes." Mike paused. "And Carter?"

"Yes?" he responded meekly.

"People have been complaining you've been very short with them and unreasonable. I want whatever's going on not to effect your work, alright?"

"Yes, Mike."

"Okay! Everyone get back to work!" Everyone stood and walked out. "James, hold up a moment, actually." Mike hopped onto his desk. James closed the door and lowered the pad of paper he had grasped in his hand.

"Everything okay?" James asked indifferently.

"Actually, that's what I wanted to ask you." Mike realized James wasn't going to say anything so he continued. "You just seem to be moving slowly, you aren't talking much. And then there's the whole problem with your speeches."

"I just… I just had a pretty unexpected breakup. But I guess you couldn't call it a breakup since we were only together for three days huh?" James made sure not to allude to any gender or names. Forgetting who he was speaking to, he resumed. "It was a kind of confusing thing though. I had no idea I'd end up the way I did… and be happy. Then, after those three days… it was over. It's just really hard." He sighed.

"Well…" Mike crossed his arms slowly and bit his lip slightly. He hadn't expected that to come from James. He had only assumed it would be something less trivial. Something more… James like. "Well, James. Breakups can be hard. Especially after three days. Just keep telling yourself that it wasn't your fault, never is."

"But it was my fault. I know it was my fault. Which is sometimes worse than wondering what you did wrong." James said the last part to himself, but Mike heard anyway.

"Yeah. It's pretty bad. Here's some advice, though. If you really feel in all your heart that breaking up was a mistake… you do think that, right?"

"I guess so. Yes."

"Good. Do whatever you have to do to get whoever this is back. Don't give up. I've given up before and I lost someone special."

"Okay." James nodded and walked to the door, opening it. "Thanks."

"No problem." Mike waved it off like he offered such advice everyday of his life. Once he was sure James had left, he jumped off the desk and sighed a faint sigh of relief. "And I was just winging it, too! Score one for Mike!"

(----)

As it turned out, Carter had the idea to do whatever it took to make things up first. James stood from his small table and put down the bottle of beer he had been sipping on when he heard a loud knock on the door. He threw the door open, only to be confronted by Carter, his overcoat buttoned all the way up, flowers and chocolate in his hands.

"Um…" James was glad he put his bottle down.

"Can I come in?" Carter shifted from one foot to the other.

"Sure." James moved out of the way, closing the door behind him. "Do… do you… what are you doing here?" James blurted out.

"I want to talk. About what the hell we're going to do, before you ask 'about what?'."

"Oh… okay." James sat and picked up his still half full (or empty, whichever way you want to see it) bottle again. "Do you want to sit? Take off your coat?"

"I think I'll leave it on." Carter laid the flowers and chocolate on the small table and remained standing.

"Why? Are we going somewhere?" James was confused and he brought his mouth away from the bottle, his hand clutching the neck loosely.

"No. Because I have nothing on beneath it."

James' bottle smashed to the floor.

(----)

James sat up quickly from his place in the bed. Sweat still lingered on his brow and torso and he attempted to breath steadily. Carter sat up a minute later and he wiped sweat off of his forehead.

"That's talking!" James yelled. "If that's what you think talking is, I'm not sure I want to know your version of sex!"

"Well, James…" Carter tried to explain. James interrupted.

"No… no! Why did you do this to me! I was just about over this and then you show up at my door… naked!" he yelled again, shifting away from Carter.

"You didn't have to have sex with me!" Carter realized it was dumb to say.

"Yes, I did!"

"You did?"

"Yes!" James shrieked.

"Why!" Carter shouted back.

"Because I don't know what's wrong with me!" James hiccupped and Carter finally realized that the younger man was trying to hold back tears. "I thought that maybe if I did it one more time… once more… that I'd figure it all out and everything would be fine. But I'm just as confused as before… maybe even more confused. I just don't understand…" This time, James didn't try to hold back his cries and quaking sobs wracked his body.

Carter moved over and pulled James into an embrace. James tried to pull away at first, but gave up and buried his head into Carter's bare chest.

"I shouldn't have done what I did. I'm sorry." Carter whispered.

"Just… don't… talk…" James managed before being overcome by tears again. Carter clamped his mouth shut again and let his hand rest into the curly crop of hair once more. They could have moved on, true. So why did Carter go? Maybe they both needed to be locked up in a mental institution.

After James cried himself out, they really did take the time to talk, fully clothed, on the couch. They talked about what they were and weren't going to do. They made compromises and lists. They sat in silence and talked at the same time. Eventually, they came up with a plan. They decided they were allowed to tell one other person besides Nikki about what was going on in case they needed extra backup. The relationship would remain private until seriously sorted out. The rest was that they would always meet at James' apartment and stuff about what they should and shouldn't do at the workplace.

Then, they just had to decide whom else to tell about what was going on between them.

"Stacey?" James suggested.

"Too loud."

"Genelle?" he tried. Carter thought a moment.

"Too gossipy."

"The Mayor?"

"Too… mayor-y."

"Stuart?" James desperately attempted. Carter gave him a look.

"What are you, nuts!"

"Well, all there is left is Paul and Mike!" James exhaled heavily with aggravation. Carter paused and stared at the ceiling in thought. He looked down again.

"Know anybody you can call, like, outside of work?"

"Oh my…" James closed his eyes, obviously annoyed.

"Hey! It's not my fault I can't trust anyone except Nikki in that office!"

"Okay, okay. Maybe we shouldn't tell anyone else, then. I've only got one little problem with all of this."

"What?"

"Why is it always my place?" James whined.

"I told you. You live alone. I live with Stuart of all people. There is no way I can get you in and out without Stuart becoming nosy."

"I know. Nevermind then."

"Thank you." There was a lull in the conversation until there was a low grumble. Carter looked around for the source and James stared at his stomach before staring at Carter again.

"I think I'm hungry."

"Let's go out to eat."

"Really?" James looked slightly worried.

"Don't worry. We'll go somewhere none of the others would."

"It's not a… gay bar is it?" James prayed it wasn't.

"Naw, of course not. Just a diner. It'll be fine."

"Why do you make it so easy for me to trust you?"

"It's the old Heywood charm at work!"

(----)

When Nikki returned to the office, she found everything running quite efficiently. It surprised her slightly to see how everything seemed so… normal. So she approached the first person she saw.

"Hey, James."

"Hi, Nikki! Your back!" he looked up from writing something, smiling.

"Yeah. How're things going?" she attempted to start a conversation.

"Pretty good actually."

"How's… you-know-what going?"

"Not bad. I'm still really confused. But I don't think I'll ever get over this." They stopped talking as Paul hurried by, not pausing to greet Nikki on her day back. James began to write again before he put his pen down and looked back up a Nikki. "Have you…" he paused. "Oh, nevermind."

"No, what?" Nikki laughed breathlessly.

"Oh… I was going to ask if you've ever heard of a song named "Spin the Bottle"."

"Hm… I can't say that I have. Why?"

"I heard it on the radio yesterday. It was good song."

"What about it?"

"Aw," James waved his hand and turned back to his paper. "You'd have to hear it. It'd make sense when you hear it."

"I'll remember to look it up." Nikki turned to go back to her desk and Paul reentered the staff offices.

"Everyone!" Paul called out. Nobody listened and continued to work. "HEY! PEOPLE!" he yelled. Everyone finally stopped and looked up, albeit impatiently. "Okay. Thank you. The Mayor has just informed me that he's been invited to this event and everyone is going whether they like it or not."

"Did he really say that?" Mike doubted what Paul was saying.

"Yes. Exact words."

"When is it?" Nikki asked finally, after realizing nobody else was going to.

"Tomorrow night. The Mayor also said to bring a date, but you don't have to. No pressure." He walked away leaving everyone in awe. An event? Tomorrow? A date by tomorrow?

"So anybody happen to have a date yet?" Mike hoped he wasn't the only one dateless. Carter immediately stiffened at the thought. He looked to see James had gone from very pale to green and back again. "Anyone?"

"I might bring someone." Nikki hinted.

"Really?" Mike almost sounded… shocked. Nikki dropped her shoulders and frowned.

"No."

"Oh, whew. I thought the world had gone upside down. I was thinking, next, Carter was going to say he was with James or something…" he laughed and walked into his office to call around to see if there were any available girls for tomorrow. Nikki, Carter, and James all pretended to laugh until they were sure the door was closed. James stood slowly.

"I think I'm going to be sick." He gasped out and made a mad dash for the bathroom. Carter blinked a few times and swallowed.

"Either that was a very accurate joke and he didn't know it, or a very subtle way of letting us know he knows."

"Knowing Mike, if I'm correct, it's most likely the first option. He doesn't usually pick up on things like this."

"I hope so. I better go to the bathroom and see if I can find James. We'd better sort out how this is going to work out." Carter went to walk away.

"Good luck with that!"

"Same to you!" he responded. Nikki smiled and sat at her desk, picking up the phone. She dragged out a phone book and flipped to the first page.

(----)

By the time Carter approached the door, he could almost hear the retching noises from inside. He pushed it open and didn't even need to check under the stalls to find him. There was nobody else inside and he just picked the stall that was the protruding the loudest sounds.

"James?" he tapped on the stall door. The toilet flushed and there was a quick gasp of breath before an answer.

"Carter?"

"Are you alright? Was it what Mike said?" Carter guessed.

"A little, I suppose." He sighed. "I haven't been feeling since I woke up this morning."

"Why didn't you say something?" Carter recalled James not saying anything about feeling sick when he got up that morning.

"I thought maybe I was hungry. I don't know. It didn't seem so big." He shrugged, but he knew Carter couldn't see him do such an action.

"Do you want me to take you to your apartment?"

"No. I'm okay. I actually feel a little better. Thanks." He breathed. Carter moved out of the way when he felt the door begin to open. James stumbled out and walked to the sink. He proceeded to splash his face and take a little drink. Carter watched carefully the whole time, trying to make sure he was really okay. James seemed to notice Carter watching, because he looked up and smiled. "Really I'm okay."

"You look pale. And a little warm." Carter remarked.

"I do? Really?" James raised his eyebrows and Carter couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

"Yes." Carter reached out and put the back of his hand on James' forehead before James could stop him. He took his hand away. "You are warm. I think you should go home."

"But…"

"No buts." Carter argued back. "I'll take you back to your…"

"Do I have to go to mine? I'm there, like, every night these days. I'm getting really tired of it." He whined. Carter smiled knowingly. He understood. In fear of Stuart finding them out, Carter insisted they always spend the night at James' and he had noticed the past few nights James appeared to be incredibly restless. Carter figured that the excuse that James was sick would provide no suspicion on Stuart's part.

"Fine. We'll go to Stuart and my place. We're not going to do anything with you sick anyway." Carter caved in.

"Okay. Good. I'll go now." He wavered slightly and Carter caught his elbow to steady him. He looked green again.

"Do you have to…"

"Yeah." James read his mind and dashed for the nearest stall, not bothering to close the door this time. Carter shook his head.

"I'm going to go let Mike know what's going on. I'll drop you off at my place and come back to work. Okay?"

"O… kay." Agreed.

"I'll be right back." Carter stepped out of the bathroom and sighed as the door closed. Someone went to go in. "I wouldn't go in there if I were you. Trust me!" Carter waved his hand in front of his nose. It didn't really stink in there, but he wanted to give James his privacy.

Besides, word gets around fast in this place. Carter wouldn't have been surprised if, by the time he finished talking to Mike, the whole building knew.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six **

Carter rode in the taxi to his apartment along with James who didn't speak a word. The driver gave them a look before taking the money.

"Your friend okay?"

"He's not feeling well." Carter answered quickly taking his change. He let James go first so in case he fainted for some reason, Carter could catch him. James didn't waver one bit on the stairs and when they reached the door, he leaned against the wall space in between doors and breathed heavily. "You alright?"

"Trying not to throw up out here."

Carter ushered him into the apartment once the door was open. He removed James' coat but kept his own on.

"The bathroom's there." Carter pointed to all the rooms as he spoke. "That's my room. You can sleep in there. There's water in the fridge, crackers in the cabinet, and Advil in the drawer all the way on the right. You can borrow some of my clothes if you want to change into something more comfortable." He took a breath after saying all of that in one quickly taken inhale. James nodded. "Okay, I'm not sure who's going to get here first, but I'll let Stuart know you're here." Carter headed for the door before turning back around. "You'll be okay by tomorrow. This just looks like you ate some bad food or something. We'll talk about tomorrow night once you feel better."

Carter finally left and James made a quick trip to the bathroom before meandering into Carter's room to get changed. The room was much more organized than Stuart's and the clothes were all in the right drawers. He picked a pair of sweats and a plain t-shirt. Shedding his work clothes, he slowly slipped on the more comfortable clothing. It was cool against his skin and they smelled like Carter.

Feeling light headed, he went to the couch and slowly sat down, picking up the remote. He flipped around, but there was absolutely nothing on, so he clicked it off. He tried some water before going back into Carter's room. He rushed to the bathroom again though and when he came back into the bedroom, he collapsed onto the bed. He crawled under the covers and curled up. Closing his eyes, he hoped he slept all night. Talking about how they were going to handle the event the next day was the last thing he needed to do.

(----)

It turned out Carter and Stuart arrived at about the same time so they both entered and threw off their coats and suitcases. Carter forgot James was there, but Stuart didn't.

"I can't believe he's here. Can't he take care of himself?" Stuart complained.

"Who's here?"

"Geez. If you can't even remember James is here, maybe he should live here. He could pay my rent." Stuart went to get something to drink. Carter slapped his forehead and walked to his room. All he could see under the covers was a large lump. He treaded softly so as not to wake him up. Unfortunately, Stuart dropped something in the kitchen and cursed loudly. The lump stirred and the covers were pulled down. James blinked heavily.

"Hey. You woke up. I'll go yell at Stuart later. How do you feel?"

"A little better." James answered softly. "I'm going to get up." He went to pull himself up.

"You don't have to." Carter warned him.

"I should. I've been sleeping for a while." James climbed out of the bed. Carter did have to admit, he looked a lot better. He still appeared to be a little sick, but not as bad as a few hours ago. Carter held the door open and James treaded out. Stuart looked up from attempting to clean a broken beer bottle.

"James! Heard you were sick. That's a shame. You missed what happened to Carter today." Stuart left the broken bits on the floor for later as he leaned against the counter, his arms crossed.

"Stuart… don't you dare…" Carter warned, but Stuart ignored him and continued.

"This really cute guy…" Stuart paused. "… not that I think he's cute. I've heard a lot of the women talking. Anyway, this guy from the second floor comes up to Carter and says 'I heard you're going to an event tomorrow. Need a date?'. This guy was, like, totally coming on to him big time."

"What happened?" James looked from Stuart to Carter, afraid Stuart was going to say that Carter had agreed.

"Can you believe it? Carter turned him down. The whole office was in a state of shock. You should've seen Stacey's face." Stuart cracked himself up and went back to cleaning the floor. James turned to Carter and smiled. Carter could tell it was a 'thank you' smile and did the same back.

"Hey, who's hungry?" Carter changed the subject and walked around Stuart.

"You know I am." Stuart responded, throwing the last bits of glass in the trash.

"No hot date tonight?" Carter was stunned.

"Nope. Looks like I'm here for the night. So… dinner. You're not cooking again are you?"

"Oh, don't sound so enthusiastic." Carter rolled his eyes.

"Look, the last time I ate your food, I ended up like James over there." Stuart pointed.

"I've told you a million times, Stuart! I followed the recipe exactly. The fish must not have been as fresh as I thought it was. I wasn't trying to kill you."

"Sure…"

James watched their interaction with amusement. They almost acted like an old married couple this way, but he decided not to bring it up in case he insulted them. Instead, he cleared his throat. The two men turned his way. It wasn't what James wanted, but he took that moment to speak anyway.

"I'm really feeling better. Maybe I should go home." He began to back for Carter's room to get changed, yet he motioned to the apartment door with his thumb.

"Aw, really? You're going to leave me here… with him?" Carter and Stuart said at the same time and pointed at each other. James would have found it funny if he wasn't in such a hurry to leave.

"Yeah…" James continued to back in the direction of the room. He knew that once Stuart was put of earshot, Carter would want to talk about tomorrow night. Carter turned to Stuart.

"Go around the corner and pick up a pizza or something." He suggested.

"Why do I have to go?" Stuart pointed at himself.

"Do you want me to cook?"

"No."

"Then go." Carter handed Stuart his coat. Stuart made a face, but took it and pulled it on. He walked to the door before turning around.

"Since you made me go, I get to pick the toppings."

"Whatever." Carter watched him leave before facing James again. James had stopped in his tracks after realizing the excuse of him leaving was obviously not going to work. "Why don't you want to talk?"

"I never said I didn't." James replied indignantly. Carter gave him a 'yeah, right' look. "Okay. Because it'd be stupid to show up together. We have nothing to talk about."

"We can't keep this a secret for much longer." Carter admitted, although he wanted to keep this a secret as much as James did. But he knew, somewhere deep inside, that they would eventually be discovered or give it away and Carter would much rather end up telling everyone then being humiliated by having the gossip go around the building, spread by someone else.

"We can try." James sighed and let his shoulders droop. He hadn't even realized they were tense. He knew as well. There was no point in trying. "Do we have to do it tomorrow?"

"When do you want to do it?" Carter didn't think there was a better option.

"You know those morning meetings, right?"

"Right…"

"Well practically everyone important on our staff is there. Couldn't we do it then?"

"No."

"Why not?" James frowned. Carter sighed as if the answer was apparent.

"Do you know how awkward the rest of the day will be? If we do it tomorrow, everyone will have their day off to mull it over and while we're back at work, everyone will pretty much have gotten over it."

"Oh." James paused and looked up from staring at the floor. "Can we at least not tell them right away?"

"We don't have to say anything."

"Huh?"

"Well, there's bound to be dancing there…"

"You want me to dance with you!" James exclaimed and tripped over his feet, almost falling on his ass. Carter snickered but quickly recovered. "I can't dance!"

"We can dance at a slow song. Those are easy."

"Oh… geez." James sat down on the couch, feeling a little lightheaded. Carter walked over.

"You okay?"

"Just a little lightheaded." He explained. Carter sat down next to him and they sat waiting for Stuart to return. After about twenty minutes or so, Stuart kicked to door open, two steaming boxes of pizza scorching his arms. He dumped the boxes on the counter and shook his hands, jumping around a bit.

"What'd you get?" Carter stood and walked to peek into the boxes.

"Um… pepperoni and my favorite, of course."

"You did not." Carter stared in disgust at the pizza boxes, afraid to open them.

"What's your favorite?" James stood as well and made his way over, taking a careful whiff.

"Pineapple, ham and onion." Stuart explained. Carter covered his mouth and went to get plates and napkins. James, on the other hand, shrugged.

"I'll try it."

"See, Carter. Look at that. You won't even try some." Stuart hung his coat up on the back of an available chair.

"James. You're sick. You shouldn't even be eating pizza." Carter walked back over to where the boxes were stacked.

"I'll try some. If I'm not feeling good, I'll stop eating."

"Oh… alright. Here." Carter handed Stuart a plate. "Take your pizza… quickly."

Stuart opened the first box, saw it was the pepperoni and moved it over. He threw open the next box and smiled. Picking the largest piece, he flopped it onto his plate. James stared at it a moment, beginning to regret his choice to try some. He sighed and took a plate. Opening the box Stuart had just been at, he picked a smaller piece. He next took a pepperoni just in case the pineapple one was horrible. Carter shook his head in disbelief before grabbing two slices of pepperoni.

He joined James on the couch, while Stuart had seated himself comfortably in his lounge chair. Stuart took a large bite of his pizza and chewed quickly. He looked to James who was just staring at the plate. It smelled funny, but that didn't quite convince him. He's had some pretty good things that looked or smelled horrible before. Sighing again, he picked up the slice. Now, a small bite or a huge one to get it over with. Before biting, he noticed that now both Carter and Stuart were watching. He sunk his teeth in a tore a piece off, finally beginning to chew.

"Well?" Stuart waited for James to finish chewing before asking for the verdict.

"It's not bad." James took another bite. Stuart smiled smugly and Carter rolled his eyes.

"You two are crazy. Absolutely insane."

"Come on, Carter. Just try a little. I have to go to the bathroom, but when I come back, I want to see you chewing!" Stuart stood and walked away. Once he was in, James held out what was left of his pizza slice to Carter.

"Fine. I'll try some." Carter leaned in and took a bite. He grabbed a napkin, ready to spit it out in disgust. But instead… "Hey. This is pretty good." Carter finished chewing and watched as Stuart exited the bathroom. "You win Stuart. This is pretty good."

"Yeah?" Stuart sat back down and picked up his plate. Neither of the other men seemed to have realized Stuart hadn't touched his slice. "I'm glad."

"Why?" Carter asked.

"Because that's not ham." Stuart cracked up. Carter's eyes widened and James stopped in mid bite. He dropped the slice on his plate and stared at it like it was about to attack him.

"STUART…" Carter warned as he pushed his plate off his lap and stood up. James did the same but rushed off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Stuart stopped laughing.

(----)

The next day, James was feeling much better and decided to go to work. He put on the same clothes he had been wearing the day before and left with Carter, after Stuart. The day was slightly more productive than the day before, but everyone was really waiting for that night. Nobody seemed to be going with a date, which made Mike feel better about himself a little.

It was finally time for everyone to go home and change into their formal clothes before all meeting at the event. They weren't told much about what the event was for, exactly, but they didn't mind. They got a chance to spend a night away from real work responsibility. Carter and James had decided near they would show up alone and near the end of the evening they would "tell" everyone in so many words.

When Carter got there, James was already sitting at a table with Nikki and Stuart. Paul was at the bar and Mike and the Mayor were meeting and greeting everyone. Some people were already dancing.

"Hey guys." Carter approached the table, grabbing a chair from an empty place behind them. James scooted over to let room in for Carter and he smiled.

"We were wondering what was taking you so long." Nikki commented, taking a sip of her drink. "Want something?"

"Something strong." Carter laughed and Stuart, who needed a refill himself, went to get something for Carter as well. James, at first glance, seemed to be enjoying himself, but if you looked hard enough, you could see how jumpy and nervous he was. Carter himself, was beginning to slightly regret what they were going to do.

As the night progressed, Carter found himself regretting it less and less than more. He checked his watch. The party was almost over and the last of the songs were being played. More people were going onto the dance floor with each song. The song playing ended suddenly, and everyone looked around, confused. A completely different song, a slower one, came on. Carter sighed and looked to James. James understood, though unwillingly, and stood.

"Where're you going?" Nikki put her third drink down and adjusted her wrap around her shoulders. Neither answered though and Nikki's eyes widened. Could they…? They weren't going to…? Now!

The two men joined together and Carter placed his hand on James' back and felt how tense he was. Looking up at his face, James' cheeks were flushed. Carter raised his eyebrows. People were already beginning to stare.

"Maybe this was a bad idea." James whispered.

"So you'd rather live in secret? You know by keeping this a secret your denying this is going on, don't you?" Carter whispered back.

"Yes." James admitted and the song, shortly lived, ended. "At Last" began to play. People joined together left and right claiming their own space. James and Carter continued to dance as Etta James sang.

Stuart returned to Nikki's table and squinted at the dancers before almost dropping his glass. Mike looked over and saw Stuart's face and walked over as well.

"What're you looking at?" He followed Stuart's eyes and sat down with a loud thump. Stacey, Genelle and the others each walked over a followed a catatonic Stuart's line of vision.

"Oh my Gawd!" Stacey practically yelled. Genelle had nothing to say and neither did the Mayor. Nikki just shook her head and smiled.

Back on the dance floor, James looked over to the right side of the room.

"Carter, they're all looking at us."

"Good." Carter smiled.

"I'm ruined." James moaned. "I might as well get this over with."

"Get what over with?" Carter asked but he didn't get the answer he was expecting. He didn't get any answer. Instead, he got lips upon his own. Carter swore he could hear the gasps echo all around the room. Somebody dropped their glass. He figured it was Stuart. Well, it certainly was going to be an interesting day at work the next time they had it, Carter thought as their lips parted.

"What do you think their doing?" James, his cheeks not so flushed anymore, questioned.

"I really don't care."

"They're going to have a lot of questions."

"Again, I don't care." They finished dancing, the next song too fast paced. Carter grabbed James' hand. People were still dancing, but staring at the two men at the same time.

"Want to come over?" James whispered.

"Yeah. I do." Carter smiled and the two of them exited the building, hand in hand, no so much as a 'good bye' to anyone. And as they stood in the cold evening air, waiting for a taxi, Carter felt as if a weight had been lifted.

He still refused to believe James had never done this before.

**THE END**


End file.
